It's Lexi, Bitch!

Yes, I’ve been gone for many months! Whoops! I got laid off and moved to Los Angeles. The layoff coincided with the return of my best friend from her stint in the Peace Corps. Perfect! So my tripod/triangle/vortex of the apex of best frienditude was back together again. We mostly invented new drinks, danced, had big sleepovers, watched every Apatow movie and 30 Rock episode ever made, and ate lots of things with mayonnaise in them.

THE BIG NEWS: This inspired my two darlings to start a new food blog! If you do well with recipes that instruct you to add “a couple farts of dijon mustard,” then The Decadence Factor is for you. I’ve been very lucky that these two know how to cook and do so AMAZINGLY, since I am differently abled in the culinary realm.

They also take pretty photos of their food and bevvies, like these little fuckers I barely remember….I had the gin sweats the next day something fierce!

L-R: Chef Julia, Eater Lexi, Chef Cella

Watch for the inevitable Food Network show sometime soon, likely to be called “The Lusty Chefs.” And yes, more posts to come soon, I have lots to cover from the last few months!

Ohhh, do my emotions have a complicated history with Sonic Youth. Can I even tell you how many times I put “Self-Obsessed and Sexxee” on mix tapes for boys I was trying to woo when I was growing up? And then how many times I listened to “Inhuman” to get over unrequited love, when said mix tapes didn’t work? As long as I’ve been around, so has Sonic Youth, so we’ve been through a lot together. I’ve had entire friendships founded on a mutual love for Sonic Youth. Kim and Thurston were major reasons I first started playing guitar. They had a cameo on “Gilmore Girls” and will next be on “Gossip Girl,” both shows I am too old to watch but still do. But somehow after all this, I’d only ever had the honor of seeing them live for about 15 minutes, once, at a festival in Australia. Until a couple of weeks ago!

I finally had the chance to see them at the Fox Theater in Oakland on August 2nd, and IT WAS PERFECTION. Having spent the day totally nauseous in anticipation and excitement, I almost blew chunks as I totally left my body and my 14-year-old self saw me from above, uttering the words “I’m on Sonic Youth’s list” to the woman at the box office. I mean, HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK. A series of delightful things happened, the first of which was somehow finding a spot on the floor behind an entire section of people shorter than I am. Being around people shorter than I am has only ever happened in two situations: when I lived in Mexico, and whenever I’m around children under the age of about 10. Seeing the stage perfectly FROM THE FLOOR? Unheard of for this tinysaurus! Next, I was ordering a drink and accidentally winked at the bartender because I got some shit in my contact, and he thought I was hitting on him and he gave me a SUPER-boozy drink and undercharged me (will try this again everywhere I go).

Then they came on. Oh my motherfucking balls.

Lights by my brilliant and accommodating and life-long-dream-realizer, Dan:

(source, I was too busy trying not to yak to remember my camera, FML)

Her Highness, Kim Gordon:

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His Tallness, Thurston Moore:

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Mark motherfucking Ibold from Pavement (new bestie)

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Fucksocks, limited awesome photos on Flickr. Next time I’ll take Prilosec for 2 weeks leading up to it so I remember my goddamn camera instead of remembering not to vom.

Setlist:

Tom Violence
No Way
Sacred Trickster
Calming the Snake
Hey Joni
Anti-Orgasm (in which Dan wrote out each letter for “ORGASM” flashing one after another on LED panels, totes genius)
Walkin Blue
Poison Arrow
Malibu Gas Station
Antenna
Leaky Lifeboat (for Gregory Corso)
Massage History
Stereo Sanctity
Encore:
What We Know
Shadow of a Doubt
Encore 2:
The Sprawl
‘Cross the Breeze

Sweet fucking tits, I think I saw Allah by the end of it!

Afterwards, Marc (my +1, who drove back up to the Bay from Santa Barbara that day and went to Neverland to pay his respects on the way. That’s the only way my day could have possibly been even more overwhelming!) and I went back to the dressing room, where I stood back-to-back with both Kim and Thurston at various points and was WAY too nervous to speak or even look at them directly (maybe I should make them each a mix tape! Oh wait….). But Marc did strike up a conversation with Mark Ibold, who I also was too nervous to speak to (HE WAS IN MOTHERFUCKING PAVEMENT, OH MY FUCKING GOD) but managed to squeak out a few utterances and giggle excitedly in his direction. He was so incredibly friendly and jubilant, it was an absolute delight. After that, Marc and I made our way to BART, our ears still ringing. A landmark night, and nary a drop of vomit was ever spilled!

Also, I love going to shows at the Fox. The venue is beyond beautiful and well-designed, the staff is always SO nice (the bew elderly gentleman who took my ticket told me he loved my bag and my style! I was having a fat/ugly/clothing crisis day until then!), the sound is top notch, and it’s just a pleasant experience each time. You get to have these dudes looming over you, blessing your evening:

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(Note: this would have been posted a couple of weeks ago, but I went to visit my parents the next day and their internet connection is powered by hamsters running on wheels, FML)

Sorry for the unintentional break; I’ve been so culturally stimulated lately it’s been overwhelming to collect my thoughts. I will be back soon, but in the meantime I know you all will be as pleased as I am to see the following pictures. Never has a pair of best friends been as bew, smart and talented as these two. Though I’m disappointed not to have carried their children, I’m very happy they are procreating and releasing more bew, smart and talented people into the world (Diego and his wife popped one out a couple months ago and Gael and his girlfriend have a babers arriving next year).

For the record, I’m rooting for whichever team they like. Also, these pictures remind me of the time I was in Peru with my family a few years ago. During the last hour of our train ride from Machu Picchu to Cusco, my sister began to projectile vomit and endure explosive diarrhea that would last for the next 48 hours. She had arranged in advance a family outing to a soccer game upon our return, but when we got back to Cusco she and my mom had to stay behind as my mom weighed the options of a suppository vs. an IV to get my sister back in action. Not wanting to waste a good idea, my Dad and I attended the fuck out of the soccer game. I drank máte de coca the whole time and threw my empty cups at the riot cops who form a human tunnel for the soccer players to duck under to enter the field. After the game we arrived back at the hotel just in time to watch a comprehensive documentary on Kylie. In the end, it was one of the best days of my life. Can’t say the same for my sister!