It's Lexi, Bitch!

I want to be best friends with both of them!

Most of you, at some point over the last miserable 8 years, have probably wondered “What would Mos Def do if he were president?” Give us health care and breakfast, that’s what. Check it out:

Umm, yes please. Since the mighty Mos is a little late to put in his bid for this election, maybe Obama can give him an appointment in the cabinet! That’s after making me the Secretary of Small Things, obvs.

Also, Neil Young is my new BFF, it’s a semi-long story but he played a riff specifically, privately and personally at my facehole last Sunday and in some cultures that’s a marriage ritual, but since I’m in a committed relashe, we’re just going to be BFFs. Then he cancelled his show in LA because the union is on strike and he was like “HELL NO, WE WON’T GO” and called them his brothers and sisters and since I was raised on protests and chants and have never/will never cross a picket line, it reaffirmed our friendship. Love you, Neil, call me and we’ll go hang out with Mos Def, ok?

You may wonder why I am posting at 11pm on Halloween, my favorite holiday. Surely I should be at a party in a ridiculous costume, dancing to Biggie and posing in the background of strangers’ photos! Desafortunadamente, I’m totes sick and have been residing on my couch for the last 5 days. I am severely bummed. Dressing up is my favorite thing IN THE WORLD.

Things I have missed this week:
-2 Girl Talk shows at the Fillmore.
-A good bro-down with DS.
-A second viewing of “Man on Wire,” the best movie I’ve seen this year.
-5 parties tonight and a sleepover with Julia featuring our specialties: hot dogs, lava cakes, Judd Apatow movies, and filming each other dancing drunk.
-The chance at a $300 prize in my work’s costume contest. I would have OWNED THAT SHIT, but couldn’t because I also missed….
-My chance to dress up like Lucille Ball, a deer (complete with black buttcrack-looking tail and cardboard hooves and maybe real antlers if my tiny peanut head could withstand the weight), or Aladdin Sane-era David Bowie.

Sorry for the unintentional break; I’ve been so culturally stimulated lately it’s been overwhelming to collect my thoughts. I will be back soon, but in the meantime I know you all will be as pleased as I am to see the following pictures. Never has a pair of best friends been as bew, smart and talented as these two. Though I’m disappointed not to have carried their children, I’m very happy they are procreating and releasing more bew, smart and talented people into the world (Diego and his wife popped one out a couple months ago and Gael and his girlfriend have a babers arriving next year).

For the record, I’m rooting for whichever team they like. Also, these pictures remind me of the time I was in Peru with my family a few years ago. During the last hour of our train ride from Machu Picchu to Cusco, my sister began to projectile vomit and endure explosive diarrhea that would last for the next 48 hours. She had arranged in advance a family outing to a soccer game upon our return, but when we got back to Cusco she and my mom had to stay behind as my mom weighed the options of a suppository vs. an IV to get my sister back in action. Not wanting to waste a good idea, my Dad and I attended the fuck out of the soccer game. I drank máte de coca the whole time and threw my empty cups at the riot cops who form a human tunnel for the soccer players to duck under to enter the field. After the game we arrived back at the hotel just in time to watch a comprehensive documentary on Kylie. In the end, it was one of the best days of my life. Can’t say the same for my sister!